I received a message from my son from my first marriage, but I am not interested in meeting him.

A father and son tell a captivating story of love, struggle, and finding redemption through a series of challenging decisions and unexpected results. Both individuals experience the pain of their past and embark on a journey towards reconciliation, navigating through various emotional challenges and seeking forgiveness.

My former spouse and I began our romantic relationship during our teenage years, and it lasted for 45 years. We became parents when we were just 22 years old, and we tied the knot at the young age of 21. After our son was born, our connection slowly began to fade away.

Our son was approximately eleven or twelve years old when I made the difficult choice to end my marriage. I’m not sure why, but my wife appeared quite taken aback. By that point, it had been about four years since we had any meaningful conversations or moments of intimacy. The event had recently concluded.

It took me a whole week to finally leave, despite my ex’s persistent pleas for me to stay. Yet, I stayed resolute. My son seemed unwilling to engage in conversation and displayed a great deal of distress towards me. I finally understood the reason behind it. According to him, I was causing harm to his mother.

He refused to visit me once I finally moved out. I would put in a great deal of effort and make frequent visits, but he would consistently express his dislike for me and retreat to his room. He was extremely upset. The divorce was finalized in about a year. Equal custody was maintained. Our son sought professional help, but unfortunately, it didn’t yield the desired results. He held a strong animosity towards me.

I never intended to force him to come to my home without consent. It is a potential scenario, although I preferred not to intensify my frustration towards him. I made an effort to attend his games and generously send him gifts on special occasions, hoping to maintain a connection with him. However, he consistently chose to disregard my presence. He made it clear that he no longer wished for my presence at any of his future events. I visited my ex’s place a few times, but he always made it clear that he didn’t want me there.

I experienced a complete sense of disconnection at this stage. I was led down a long, gloomy path of sorrow and loss. It felt as if my son had departed from this world. the most challenging period of my life. However, when I woke up one day, it had simply come to an end. Once I recovered, I moved forward. My partner and I have the joy of raising two wonderful children. Life was filled with joy once again.

It wasn’t until my son sent me an email about a year ago that things started to change. He expressed remorse for everything and mentioned that he had recently become a father to a son. That made him stop and reflect on the way he had treated his own father. He longed for a reconnection and a resurgence in my life. I prefer not to disclose the email due to privacy concerns, but it contained additional information.

Upon reading this email, I felt completely indifferent. I chose not to speak. He has been consistently sending about fifteen emails detailing the life events of his son and himself. I felt it was necessary to provide him with some sense of resolution, despite my lack of response. I haven’t sent it yet.

Here is the sequence:

My dearest son, It would be highly appreciated if you could refrain from sending me any further emails. I’ve overcome countless challenges to reach where I am today. I am overjoyed to have a family once more, and my current state of happiness knows no bounds. I acknowledge your feelings of regret and guilt regarding the past, but please know that I hold no resentment towards you and I offer my forgiveness.
Reconnecting with you would bring about complexities that I am unwilling to confront for the sake of myself and my loved ones. Unfortunately, I am unable to provide you with what you are looking for. Please refrain from contacting me any further. I hope you comprehend, and I wish you the utmost success in your endeavors.

Farewell.

Even though I haven’t sent it yet, I’ve finally informed my wife about the situation. She was deeply disturbed upon reviewing my draft and the accompanying emails. She earnestly implored me to return it and open my heart to him. Following our disagreement, she suggested that I resume therapy.

She even informed my parents, causing my mother to become quite upset. She started scolding me as if I were still a child. I can’t fathom why she fails to comprehend. She has been there with me every step of the way, witnessing all of my challenges. In the end, she made a menacing promise to me, just as she had done to him. I struggled to articulate my thoughts.

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