Disagreements between a married woman and her mother-in-law are quite common. In order to maintain a harmonious family dynamic, it is important to prioritize your personal well-being and foster a respectful bond with your extended family. Recently, a woman shared her deep distress upon discovering that her mother-in-law had been interfering in her own family without her knowledge. She turned to the internet for guidance and suggestions on how to navigate this sensitive situation.

Greetings,

My husband (36) and I (33) recently entrusted our 18-month-old daughter to the care of my mother-in-law for the first time. Despite my concerns, we had no alternative for a babysitter that evening, so we requested her assistance. She was in agreement and expressed a desire to bring her 29-year-old daughter along.

Just to provide some background, it’s worth mentioning that I follow a vegan lifestyle, which my husband also embraced after we got married. Together, we made the choice to raise our daughter following a plant-based diet, just like us. This decision has always been a source of discontent for my MIL, who often finds fault with our dietary preferences. As a result, her visits to our home are few and far between, only happening during big family gatherings or when she needs something from us. I’ve tried multiple times to include her in our lives and create a bond with our daughter, but with little success.

As I wrapped up the babysitting incident, I made sure to remind my MIL about the specific foods our daughter could have from our fridge before we left. Meanwhile, my husband and I have security cameras installed in the house that are always operational when we’re away. It is crucial to note that my mother-in-law is completely unaware of their presence.

Upon our return, I made the decision to thoroughly analyze the recorded material. The scene that played out on the screen left me completely taken aback – my mother-in-law was indulging in hamburgers for herself and my sister-in-law, and shockingly, they were also sharing them with our daughter.

As I kept listening to the recording, it was disheartening to hear my MIL speaking negatively about me to my SIL all evening, making derogatory remarks and baseless criticisms. Compounding my anguish, my daughter appeared distraught and in need of my presence, yet my mother-in-law failed to offer her solace. Instead, she carried on with her conversation, making derogatory remarks about me to my sister-in-law.

I shared this distressing evidence with my husband, and it has deeply affected him. And now, although I’m leaning towards severing communication, I’m uncertain about the course of action to follow if my husband doesn’t agree. I would greatly appreciate any guidance on how to handle such a situation.